Totally High School

My twentieth high school reunion is this summer.  I've been putting off my RSVP...until tonight.  While my high school years were 'fine', I don't remember them as the be-all-end-all of life.  I wasn't the smartest, dumbest, cutest, ugliest, sassiest (okay, I *might* have been the sassiest), weirdest (and I was pretty weird) person in my graduating class.  I have no huge desire to go back and prove to people that I am now super smart and pretty.  Because unlike Mary Poppins, who is practically perfect in every way, I'm...me, not even close to perfection, but pretty freaking fantastic.

And there are definitely people I would want to see....but they aren't the people who teased me because of my generous amount of arm hair in Mr. Johnson's social studies class (I shaved my arms when I got home that afternoon.), or the boys who teased me in the common area about being a Carpenter's Dream - flat as a board and never been screwed.  The people I would like to see are the girls who stuck with me through the whole weird journey called high school.  I want to meet their husbands and see pictures of their kids.  Then I get crazy sad because I wish I would have put more effort into my relationships with them when I was younger...but I didn't.  I made other choices.  These 'other choices' are the reason my RSVP says, "No."

To the class of 1990:  I wish for all of you the very best....except for one of you, who I don't.

Headbands and High School

I have a friend who posted this on Facebook awhile back:

"Would you wear this? I'm going through a major headband stage. Too gaudy?"
(Headband)

Her Facebook friends then chimed in: It would have to be with the *right* outfit. I don't know if you can pull it off. and one even said, "Somehow I cannot see you in this headband." (even I posted, "I don't think I could get away with it.")

It got me thinking. Why on earth could I not get away with wearing this headband? I have black and red hair for Pete's sake! And why does my friend think she should ask others if she could do it? Of cousre she could wear it and she's look damn good in it too!

I think it's because as we grow up we are "given" our role in life. I felt that my role was the girl who just never quite fit in. I didn't feel like a total loser, but some how I just wasn't really well liked either. I never felt like I could just be myself and I don't even think I ever knew who I was. But, after thirty-some years I'm beginning to figure it all out.

Some parts of myself have been easy for me to figure out. For example, I like my hair better when it is longer then when it is shorter. I like to do funky things with my hair. I like to write. I like to cook. I love music and playing RockBand. I like art. I think I may even be a bit artistic. I also know that my perfect day would include making as many people smile on that day as humanly possible.

So my question to you is: What makes you tick? Have you found the person you really are or are you still searching? I'm still searching, but I think I have a fabby head start!