Okay. I am about to admit something to the whole world. It is something that is hard for me to admit, because while my true friends see me up close and personal, some of you only know me by the internet or what you remember about me from a long, long time ago. Here it goes.....
I AM OVER WEIGHT! I am not talking the just ten pounds, or "firming" up kind of over weight. I'm talking forty-pounds-of-WAY-too-much-fat kind of over weight. I have been embarrassed by it since I became over weight in the summer of 1992. For those of you who have not followed my blog, that is the summer I was pregnant, was in a car accident, fractured my spine and pelvis, suffered nerve damage, and lost my baby.
I have been careful about pictures I post and tag myself in on Facebook. I have even been careful of actually meeting some of my Facebook friends in person. Some of you I still would not have met in person if it wasn't for your little surprise meetings...Lord knows what you all would say about me when you see more then a face shot. I could not even think about the judging and the crappy things that might be said behind my back. "Wow! She sure the hell got fat." But today was a miracle:
Today I was in my third car accident. (If we don't count the time I didn't have my license and my drunk father decided I "needed to learn how to drive" on a gravel road by Lake Sara and went into a ditch.)
Today I was stared at by someone in another car. I waved and hollered, "What the heck! Why are people staring at me!" My eight year old responded, "Maybe it's because you're beautiful." I giggled. My fourteen year old step-daughter chimed in, "Well, you are pretty."
Today one of my friends who also struggles with her weight admitted that she did NOT un-tag herself from photos on Facebook. That she is who she is. She was at the MFbbq and if she un-tags herself then she would "disappear" from the event, like she was never there. I admired her and respected her so much that I had no words to say to her. I was in awe of her inner beauty (and honestly she is really super physically pretty too).
And last, but not least, today a friend who is in the "just ten pounds or firming up" category was called fat. And to that I say.....srsly, what the...?!?!?!?
So, no more un-tagging or not tagging for me. I am still losing weight. It is weight that I gained a long, long time ago. It weight that I have lost and regained and will someday permanently release and let go of. I am who I am and...
I am the Mother Freakin' Princess. I have weight to lose and friends to gain, lives to touch, and reasons to make people smile.
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About Me
- ~The M.F.P.
- I'm a modern day princess living in suburbia, where tiaras and tutus don't exactly fit in.
4 comments:
Kudos to you MFP! And by the way, I think you're utterly beautiful (in fact, if you don't believe me, ask Jenny Lane. First thing I said after meeting you was how gorgeous you are!) Anywho, we is in this thing together...you're not alone!!!
Kimberly,
You worded so well what so many of "us" feel. The truth is you are a beautiful woman, even though you may not see it that way some days. I heart you!
Dr. K speaks the truth. We both gushed about your gorgeousness to our respective men. We all have our things (our thighs, our bellies, our sags and puckers). Some of us imagine they are more than what reality says they are. But know this, you are BEAUTIFUL. I don't mean your heart or your soul or in the way you care for others. That stuff is true and all but I'm talking bend over and spank you hot . . . h-o-t. Whether you're comfortable with that fact or not doesn't really matter.
You know, I thought I had come so far in the way that I feel about myself, and then I saw the MFBBQ pictures and my gut response was to untag myself...it was hard to see those pictures. And then to think that all my college and high school friends could see those pictures made me feel sooooo nervous.
I heard a British mom once say that she didn't understand why people thought the word "fat" was so negative. She said that she was fat and beautiful! That it was just a describing word and not anymore negative or postive than the word "skinny".
Bravo to you and R for standing up for who you are, with, and without flaws! Love You! :)
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