The B.F.H.

(Big Freakin' Hammer)  It's what I've contemplated taking to my scale.  "Hi.  I'm The Mother Freakin' Princess and I am addicted to my scale."  It's true.  I weigh myself *at least* six times a day:

In the morning, right after I wake up and go potty.  Again after my morning workout...and after breakfast.  Usually after lunch or at least by mid-afternoon (some times twice in the afternoon).  Always after dinner and before I go to bed...and if I wake up in the middle of the night - of course I hop on that bastard!

I know it's not right and logically the scale is only *one* tool out of many to measure my health and goals.  But the scale is the easiest and most immediate way to get feedback.  For a gal who lacks patience, and lives in a society that thrives on immediate gratification, the scale is the utmost wonderful tool.

Over the last couple weeks - well since I've been at my Crossroads - I've envisioned taking the scale 'out back' and letting myself go wild on it with the B.F.H.  Maybe I would have Nathan video tape me and post it to Youtube.  It would definitely make great pictures to use on my blog!  It would be so liberating!  It would be letting go of this huge attachment in my life.  I would free myself of this burden and judgment.

But I can't do it.  Mostly because there's a part of myself I know very well.  It's the part that will just buy a new scale in a month or so.  It's the part of me that is obsessive compulsive.  It's the part of me that needs the security of an unbiased opinion of something...the part that knows I have a lot of work to do to reach my goals and if left to myself, I'll start slacking...thinking I'm hot shit, settling for mediocrity.  No.  I don't want to settle.  I wanna be a rock star.  And if using my scale is something that will get me there, then that's what I'm going to do.  And I'm going to be okay with it.

But I am going to take a small vacation from it and let Nathan hide it from me as soon as I lose 2 more pounds.  Just for a little bit :)