Bitching, Crying, Screaming, Cussing

This past week, I've screamed at the top of my lungs.  I've said hurtful things.  I've been sarcastic (above and beyond my normally acceptable sarcasm).  I've sobbed loudly while holding tight to my husband.  I've lost it in front of my children over and over again.  I've laid in my bed - all alone, letting the tears silently stream down my face.  What might be so awful, you might ask?  TRAINING!

My mind has been liking the sloth/party like behavior I've been practicing over the last 10 months.  It enjoys being medicated and clouded by too much food and drink.  This mind of mine has made me feel like all the 'normal' things that have happened this week are major crises and that I 'need' a release of some sort.  Just a drink or two....an extra helping of dinner...slightly more then the ounce of cheese I had allotted for my night time snack.

I should be clear, it's not my whole mind that enjoys this kind of medicated lifestyle.  It's what my sister and another close friend like to call the Lizard Brain.  Well, I must have made a break through by the end of the week because that little Lizard Brain inside me has been quiet.  I didn't cave in.  I held strong to my training guidelines.  I kept what is important to me in front of me.  The heroine inside me has won this week and I'm proud of all I've done.

My official weigh-in is Monday morning, so we'll see if the *Goddess of Good Numbers on the Scale* will be nice to me.  But even if she isn't....I feel strong and I ended the week on a happy note.